Be With Me
by LittleRedRobinHood
Summary: Life goes on after winning the war, but Rey is plagued by nightmares. She can't live with the memory of losing the one thing she wanted for herself. One night, everything changes. One night, the force gives them a second chance.


**(Disclaimer: I own nothing and I can't do it justice. Enjoy.)**

The room was dark and small, with little exception for light other than what found its way through the crack under the door. With the war won and the threat to the rebellion extinguished, life had finally been pretty peaceful. Some had chosen to leave the rebel base and return to their families, but for others, this was all the family they had, and so most remained on the lush planet and built a new home for themselves.

They'd won. They'd done everything they set out to do. Except Rey.

Seeing her friends safe and well had been a lifeline for her, and for the first few nights, everything was just about perfect. She hadn't given herself time alone to think, but once she had, there was no blocking out the memories. Finn was patient and understanding when Rey grew quiet. Poe was keen to make her think of other things. But always in the back of her mind, her one failure taunted her.

They'd won. They'd done everything they set out to do and she'd been willing to die for it, but she couldn't save the one thing she'd wanted for herself.

Every night he was there. Lying dead in her arms. Palpatine wasn't what plagued her nightmares. She'd killed him, she could dismiss the thought of her grandfather if she tried, but no matter how hard she tried to block the memories of Ben, he kept coming back to her. He never left.

All she wanted to do was take his hand, and when she'd woken in his arms, when he'd brought her back and the first thing she felt was his hand over her, it was more than she'd let herself hope for at the end of the war. She'd kissed him. Finally. And when he smiled she wanted to kiss him again. He was holding her, and she was holding him, and it was all they really wanted.

And then he'd fall. And she couldn't hold him up. He was taken from her so quickly, it was cruel. Over and over again every night. Replaying on a loop that drove her further and further into madness until she woke up screaming. She'd cry and cling to her pillow because she had nothing else to hold on to. Sometimes, when she woke, she could still feel him. And she could see him lying there like a ghost on her bed.

The first night it happened, BB-8 had been in her room. Poe hadn't yelled at her for scaring him, but after that, she'd sometimes see his shadow sitting outside her door. No one ever came in though. She didn't want them to.

Quickly she'd managed to numb herself when she woke so she wouldn't scream. But nothing numbed the feeling. It was a tossup every night, whether she'd cry out for him, just cry, or not cry at all and just lay motionless while the memories tried to drown her. She should have died with him.

Tonight, was different.

Tonight, she didn't dream of him falling to the ground. She didn't see the smile disappear from his face as the light left his eyes. He didn't vanish from her. All she saw tonight was him smiling and holding her. Everything she wished for, everything she wanted to change had changed and he stayed. And it was almost worse because in the back of her subconscious she knew it wasn't true. And she never wanted to wake up.

But she did. The room was dark and small, with little exception for light other than what found its way through the crack under the door and even that was partially obscured by the two shadows sitting outside.

Rey watched the shadows, laying on her back and remaining as still as possible, trying to convince herself she was still asleep. It didn't work. She could feel the pressure on her stomach and was afraid to acknowledge it. But she looked, and there he was again. The image of him taunting her like air she was being denied.

She sniffed quietly, and took a shaky breath, trying not to alert her friends outside the door. She stretched her hand out and laid it gently over the head pressing into her stomach. What a terrible trick for your own imagination to play on you. She could feel his hair beneath her fingertips, and the soft heat of him entering her palm. She decided then that yes, this was worse than her nightmares. Why would her mind play such awful tricks on her?

It was strange though. How different this was from every other night. Even the ones where she'd wake up to see him. He was always lifeless and ghost like, but now, it just seemed as though he was sleeping.

And then he moved; taking a deep, relaxed breath as he turned his face further into the curve of her stomach. Rey stared at him, wide eyed and lifted herself onto her elbows. She knew her heart was about to break again but still she tried anyway. She placed her hand gently over the side of his face, feeling the remnants of the scar she'd given him under her fingertips.

"Ben," she whispered. Nothing happened. She shouldn't have expected it to. He wasn't really here. "Ben," she urged again, calling his name a little louder. Still nothing happened and she wasn't yet used to the pain she felt when her heart shattered once again. "Please," she hummed, leaning over him.

When suddenly his eyes opened, he looked almost as surprised as she did. His eyes darted over her face and his lips parted.

"Rey?" He whispered her name back and it was so strange. It was his voice.

"You're not hear," she said, and sniffed, trying to push down the hope and convince herself it was another allusion before she broke again.

"Where am I?" He asked and she hadn't been expecting it.

If she wasn't awake before then she was awake now. She sighed and took him by the face with both hands now, feeling him as sure as her own pillow beneath her. She could feel the weight of him on her stomach and took a breath, seeing the way his head followed the movement. She took a second to evaluate her senses, noticing the incredible silence. The soft hum that filled the air because of it, like being beneath the ocean. The force bond.

"Ben?" She asked again, urgently. More hopeful than she'd been before.

"Rey," he repeated, and she felt his hand on her arm. "Where are you?"

"I'm-" she began and then he was gone, sound refilling the silence. She could still see the outline of him from where he'd been laying on her bed. "Ben!" She shouted and threw off the covers, trying to pull him back through the lull of the fore bond.

She could feel it like a spark in her veins. Like a rush after touching a livewire. He was here and she was sure of it. It hadn't been a dream. Any indication that it was would have been a horrendous joke on her life.

She flew out of bed, following the feeling out into the hall. She flung open her bedroom door, ignoring the surprised sounds of Poe and Finn as their support disappeared and they fell back inside.

"Rey?" Finn called after her as she ran down the hallway, but she gave no sign of hearing him.

She burst out into the open night air, feeling the cold grass beneath her bare feet as she ran through the trees. She could hear Poe and Finn calling her name, BB-8 wiring along with them, but she was only focused on one sense. The sense that told her she was going the right way. She could feel the air shift, hear the buzz growing louder as she continued further into the trees.

"Ben!" She called and then everything went silent again. The rush hitting her like lightspeed and stopping her in her tracks.

"Rey," Bens voice floated through the air again and there he was, standing in front of her, halted as if he'd been running too.

"Is this real?" She asked.

"I think so," he gaped at her.

"Tell me where you are, I'll find you," she choked.

"I don't know. I don't think I'm anywhere."

"Ben," she breathed. "What do I do? Tell me what I'm supposed to do. I'll help you."

He shook his head, he didn't know, but he held out his hand to her and she'd never been so ready to take it. She accepted it gingerly, afraid he would vanish once again, but he pulled her in eagerly and held her to him, willing to soak up every ounce of chance time they'd been granted.

"Be with me," he hummed, resting his forehead against hers.

"Be with me," she echoed and sighed, holding her other hand against his face to keep her grounded. "I don't want you to disappear again. Ben, I'm so afraid. I can't do it again."

He held her to him, feeling the same fear but unable to surrender her long enough to say so. Instead he held her tighter, trying to convince them both that they could solve this. She was unstoppable and he was unrelenting. They would find a way to be together.

He stooped down then and captured her lips, unable to resist any longer. He didn't know how long they had and if he was going to disappear again, he wanted to go with another lasting memory. He couldn't explain where he was, and he didn't know how long he'd been gone, but something was changing, and he had saved her. He'd gladly given her his life and he'd do it again. They could search for answers later, right now all he wanted was the time to pretend he could have her. She was all he wanted, and she wanted him too.

Rey held onto the kiss until the world around them turned itself back on, in one sudden whoosh. They both felt it when the force bond closed again, like a door pushing against strong wind. Rey could hear her name being called as her friends ran through the trees and stopped behind her. She couldn't acknowledge them yet though. Because when the force bond closed it had left them both here. When it closed, it hadn't taken him with it. Ben was still standing in front of her, solid and clear as if she'd taken his hand and pulled him right through the bond to her. He wasn't disappearing.

He smiled, the same smile that had threatened to ruin her life and she returned it. She laughed and kissed him again and he held her tighter still, refusing to put any distance between them after having chased her all throughout the galaxy only to lose her when they'd finally found their way back to one another. No, now that they were being given a second chance, he wasn't going to waist it. He would hold her and love her all day every day for the rest of their lives as long as she wanted him to.

"I don't understand," she said against him, shaking her head as she wrapped her fingers in his dark hair.

"Palpatine said, together we were life. Maybe that's what this is," he thought aloud. "We can look for explanations another time. For now,…"

"Just be with me," she finished for him and he nodded, trailing his hand up her back to her neck so he could hold her closer and kiss her again. She wrapped her arms around him and pushed back, accepting his offer to wait for explanations. As far as she was concerned, they didn't need any.

BB-8 beeped behind them and Poe shushed him, taking Finn by the arm and trailing them back toward the base, knowing they wouldn't be sitting outside her door while she slept any longer.


End file.
